did you see outside today? gorgeous. extremely. i slept almost all of it off - i woke up just as my shift at work was just supposed to be starting! - but i was glad to have caught a glimpse of its last four hours.

it's getting warmer.
what a way to end the winter.
i'm expecting a breathless summer.
  sunset sa roxas blvd

is it a den?
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

bookman's alley in evanston

myopic bookstore
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

on damen avenue

borders on state street
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

one of the more popular borders in chicago, second to flagship store on michigan avenue.

victoria peak sa gabi
Originally uploaded by Nasa Dulo ng Dila.

ang ganda! sana makarating din ako diyan. ...

spoliraium stamp
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

a gift from pinas. woohoo!

sunset sa roxas blvd
Originally uploaded by Nasa Dulo ng Dila.

maligayang bati, eugene! :-D sana tuloy ang masaya, productive at successful mong lifestyle sa pagsapit ng bagong dekada.

salamat sa pagupload ng maraming pix ng san agustin church at museum at hong kong, ang gaganda! yes, idealistic pa rin tingin ko sa manila, walang squatters, basurang nakakalat, traffic, pollution, stray animals, mga batang nagtitinda ng sampaguita't diyaryo - pero siya pa rin ang sentro ng aking lahat.

o di ba. "center of everything." hehehe.

maraming salamat sa lahat. nakakabilib ang iyong pagbantay sa lahat ng bago o mabuti tungkol sa literatura. natutuwa akong kahit superdecorated ka nang manunulat, tanda pa rin sa iyo ang mga importante sa buhay. sana magenjoy ka ngayong araw ng kaarawan mo. happy birthday!

  from the hancock observation deck

from the hancock observation deck
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_quatre.

this is emanuel, one of my oldest friends who now lives in los angeles.

from the signature room at the hancock
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_quatre.

after touring chicago's second tallest building, we went to the signature room - two floors about the observatory deck. but at that height you can barely see anything you recognize on the ground anymore. ahahaha.

from the hancock outdoor observation deck
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_quatre.

from inside the outdoor observation deck.

from the signature room
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_quatre.

wow, shopping! ahahaha. one of the stores we like is abercrombie & fitch. even if they shamelessly sport sweatshops. boo. ...

hancock center
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_quatre.

from the outside... i should have asked him to step one step to the right... or left... nevermind. ahaha -

happy birthday, em! 34 ain't bad. :-)

(sorry ha, ito lang pix ko for now. but i'll upload the rest soon.)

  wacker drive building

wacker drive building
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

is tiring
is to patch

words otherwise
needed to patch

holes lurking
under filmsy wraps.

  galatea gives books

galatea gives books
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

hehehe... this is what you get for reviewing books... more books! mmm... thanks, eileen!

  andy's prehousewarming

andy's prehousewarming
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

ok... no more fruitcake with red bull, pineapple juice, ice, that absolut thingy, karaoke...

it was at this party that i started hiccuping. it was either laughing, the pineapple juice, the chips and french onion dip, or the rice and spicy chicken. i dunno...

this is a prehousewarming... andy says he'll have something more sane formal later this year. just keep on calling him, ahahaha -

  aaja and ethnic media meeting

aaja and ethnic media meeting
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

the first-ever asian american journalists association meeting with chicago ethnic media - most of which was filipino media!

the first asian american journalists association (AAJA) meeting with various asian american ethnic media (EM) intended to meet with print, online and broadcast journalists from all nationalities of asian descent in chicago, but interestingly the only nationality present was filipino. the chinese americans and south asians were members of aaja.

that wasn't the first thing that i saw when i came to the meeting, of course. you wouldn't know that just looking at the group present. i forgot what topic it was that they were talking about when i squeezed in a seat next to pinoy monthly (PM) and an aaja rep. but i liked how members from mega scene magazine and PM realized they were at odds with each other. ahahaha.

to be brutally honest, i was hoping that the beef between filipino media would come out. i wanted to know their history, why the second largest asian group in the third largest city in the u.s. has at least five different print publications. and they all seem to be released all at the same time. and they are all free - unless you want them delivered to your door.

when you sit down and read two of these publications side by side, you'll notice that the bulk of news still comes from the homeland. researchers and mainstream journalists have never ceased calling filipinos in the u.s. - or at least, in chicago - the invisible minority. but for their accent and skin color, they blend in extremely well.

if journalism reflects the community it represents, then i say at least two of the five publications are doing a good job (the one i volunteer for and the other that i read. ahahaha). journalists watch what's going on, they, ideally, don't start fires so that they could call firefighters to put out the blaze so then they could have something to write about. they don't make the news.

many editors will say there is always something to cover, they just have to look for it. indeed, there is, it's just a matter of staffing them. that's where ethnic media is lacking. but this could be countered if the one or two bodies they have get trained efficiently so they can accomplish more in the small time alloted to them.

this is what the EM journalists asked for from aaja - training. aaja said they will schedule craft workshops and let them know about upcoming ones already planned, such as the layout and design workshop coming up.

aaja then compiled a list of emails from the meeting and suggested if the ethnic journalists would like to learn about filing freedom of information act requests, finding court documents and police reports.

it made me smile because this is something that EM needs to learn because at the meeting, i heard many things that seemed to all amount to that the journalists want their publications to make an impact on the larger society their backgrounds belong to, that is, chicago, illinois, the u.s.

that the journalists present at the meeting mentioned that this is their desire is very encouraging to hear. i say this as a first-generation immigrant who is the same age as the second-generations aaja journalists who are, like their parents and their contemporaries, still writing "am here" to a society that sometimes deems they haven't yet arrived.
  oddly ill
lately, all these weird things have been happening to me.

today, friday, i called in sick because of extreme fatigue. i mean, i would walk about 20 paces and my heart would palpitate. i would walk up and down one flight of stairs and i would need to catch my breath. i think i had an average of 4 hours of sleep everyday this past week. i was shaking at work last night. so exhausted my body was, that i had to call in sick today. i slept at around 1:30 a.m. last night and woke up at around the same time today, 1:30 p.m.

but it felt like the first real sleep i've had all week.

it's my fault, not just work: on election night, i was already sleep deprived. and then i drank four regular doctor peppers. ahahaha. but the one good thing's that i actually got all that i wanted to get done, done. like planning the next book club meetings. i worked like crazy wednesday and thursday. heehee!

but before going out with a friend for coffee tonight, i was carrying the rolled-up philippine flag down our front steps, and promptly tripped down the last three steps. dangit! it's totally a 10-year-old thingy to do. i twisted my ankle. right now, i'm hoping that it's only slightly twisted, because although it would be wonderful to skip work again for a few days, i don't want to, because it's the end of the month and many more crazy things happen at the ends of months. ahaha.

my friend speculated that all these bad things are happening because something good will happen. well, i'm feeling my bad ankle now. i sorely hope so. ;-)
  next muntingtinig meeting
saturday, april 22
selection: DUSK
author: F. Sionil Jose
details: please read all 352 pages
publisher: Modern Library
ISBN: 0375751440
time: 6:30 p.m.
venue: anna and nina rosete's apartment, 345 N. LaSalle, Suite 4504, Chicago, IL 60610. again, please let anna know you are going.

saturday, may 20
selection: DON VICENTE: Two Novels (Tree and My Brother, My Executioner)
author: F. Sionil Jose
details: this book is two novels in one. please read the section, TREE.
length (both novels): 448 pages
Publisher: Modern Library
ISBN: 0375752439
time: 6:30 p.m.
venue: Sweet Table, 3056 N. Lincoln Ave., Chicago. 773-549-4188. don't worry if you don't have extra cash - we'll let you eat our leftovers. just kidding. hehehe.

i'm really grateful for all the support! sweet table's owner said he's going to close the restaurant at 7 p.m. and we can stay there all night if we want; let's not. ahahaha. we might not be invited back. let's just crash at the hamlin house or at anna's house after, ahahaha. ...
  eliza's war pix

eliza's war pix
Originally uploaded by elisaroar.

rally against the war in iraq, march 18 2k6.

eliza's war pix
Originally uploaded by elisaroar.

near the ogden school yard in downtown, police in riot gear. yes, and our flagpoles can really be as easily swung as their sticks.

eliza's war pix
Originally uploaded by elisaroar.

and so we laughed about it even though we knew it there was something kinna silly in doing so.

eliza's war pix
Originally uploaded by elisaroar.

hehehe. ...

eliza's war pix
Originally uploaded by elisaroar.

walking to get something to eat before the march.

eliza's war pix
Originally uploaded by elisaroar.

short girl needs to grow!

eliza's war pix
Originally uploaded by elisaroar.

marching proper to michigan avenue: choosing which chant to yell first

eliza's war pix
Originally uploaded by elisaroar.

it was dark on the gold coast

eliza's war pix
Originally uploaded by elisaroar.

marching proper on michigan avenue. wow... tall buildings.

eliza's war pix
Originally uploaded by elisaroar.

we made it to daley plaza!

eliza's war pix
Originally uploaded by elisaroar.

going all out. thanks, eliza!

[ more war pix ]
[ more pix ]
  causeful siren

Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

at an early open mic at sala cafe, 2005

Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

bringing bamboo to the second city.

Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

with bagwis at a pintig filipino open mic at jinx cafe.

Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

with bagwis at a pintig open mic at hoghead mcdunna's.

Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

pintig's christmas fundraiser. "pasko na, sinta ko..." that venue in suburban... niles i think it was... is a popular filipino event venue.

secret birthday lovers
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

candles on cookies. it's so obvious. hehehe.

Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

happy birthday, je! thanks for all you've done for the community thus far - singing at the open mics at a hat's drop, volunteering for pintig, the awesome way you've brought bamboo, parokya ni edgar, and yes, i've forgotten the others coz i'm dense like that, but that means so damned much to me!

nakakatuwang memoryado mo yung buong kid's lit tape na padala sa yo ng daddy mo! ahahahaha! grabe, gulat kami. ahahaha.

salamat sa lahat ng kuntribusyon, at sana wag kang magsawa. maligayang, maligayang bati - you deserve no less.

  i'm cheating
it's 1:33 a.m. on march 22. i just want to make sure i have something blogged for march 21. coz really the state primary elections happened the 21st. chaos. just like this food:

no more food after the first raid. darn.

arg, and i'm still here! boo.

thank you to all of those who made me feel guilty!

"Ü wíll nèvér fínd trüé haPpiNeSs uNtíl Ü hvè trÜly lóv3d n u wiLl n3v3r unD3rStáNd wHáT päiN rIly iS uNtiL u hv3 lösT it."

"Im not a citizen of ths country."

"I can't vote. Im not a citizen. I'm not even a greencard holder. Hehe."

for all you legit slackers (ok fine, sometimes me too), i need not elaborate how important a political election is. if you work, and you pay taxes, your money finances the pockmarked roads and sidewalks you stomp, as well as the salaries of the incumbent officials on that ballot.

friends had invited me to knock on doors in faraway suburban lombard this morning, but i totally had to back out coz it would have meant three hours of sleep in a span of 36 hours for me. i haven't mustered the courage to do that yet, hehe. maybe next time. i'm grateful to have been invited though. never done that before, hopefully i get a chance to do that soon. hopefully tammy duckworth wins tonight so i can join people in november! :-)

happy birthday, je! your turn tomorrow. hehehehe.
  the primaries
people. go out and vote tomorrow.
we've all waited 21 years for this.
some of us 18.
some of us never got to vote until we moved to this country.
all of us can be fairly sure that our votes will be counted.

i said FAIRLY sure, ok. illinois ain't perfect. ok, chicago. yes, i know i'm being naive. poor ulanmaya, so innocent. there, there now.

thing is, if all your hopes and dreams get crushed when president bush manages a third term, it'll be your fault coz you didn't even try getting up early to give a chance to, to vote for the congress-rep who, remotely sounds sensible to you. HA!

polls open at 6 a.m.
  make a wish

make a wish
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

annagirl's bday at maggiano's. woohoo!

drinks that complement each other
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

coz it was her birthday, and we were laughing althroughout dinner, maggiano's decided to compliment us with drinks on the house. so this is my cappuccino and the free drink was sambuca... sambuco... grappa... paint thinner... gasoline... whatever.

trying to walk back to the house
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

so satisfied, that the myths started emerging -

munting tinig book club - inaugural meeting
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_sei.

the stories started spilling -

ulanmaya at flickr
bachelorette on the loose: funky buddha
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya.

the legends -

bisita ng parkoya, november 2k5
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_trois.

the epics -

wild bridesmaid
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_trois.

and the sagas. happy birthday, anna!

  march 18 rally

chicago anti-war protest
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_cinq.

i participated in the nighttime city anti-war rally because i've witnessed the work community organizations like chicago antiwar and not in my name have gone through to secure a permit for organizations to march on michigan avenue. my clear goal was to support the first amendment cause. but i learned so many great things along the way. yes, it was a festival. but its importance is way more than my skill to describe here. bystanders lined sidewalks and peered from hotel and business windows, some cheering, some jeering.

shortly after war was declared in afghanistan and iraq, protestors gathered for an impromptu rally at federal plaza and denounced president bush's decision to invade iraq.

they took to the streets which eventually spilled into lake shore drive.

many friends of mine can tell you how irresponsible they consider protestors to let their grief spill onto the highway, inconveniencing them by costing them three to four more hours warming their car seats as they sat in traffic.

i would like to think that people who said that can't help being irked because at that time, they needed to go to the bathroom. and they were stuck in traffic.

police were waiting for protestors on the corner of michigan avenue and pearson. protestors decided to call it a night at around 10 p.m. at that corner. some protestors realized what was going on, and dispersed immediately. the curious ones witnessed how police in riot gear formed a square in the middle of the two streets' intersection and form a... corral.

police started arresting protestors. another one of my friends was arrested that day. i found out through her roommate. she did not elaborate, and i didn't prod further, after all, it was our friends' story. i could ask her some other time if i want. but i don't think i should.

i was working in the office that night, and was fielding phone calls flooding our newsroom. after the third call, you can't help but notice something's wrong when the person you're talking to on the phone is describing what's happening on TV.

it turns out that a radio station had read a report of ours that was written so ambiguously that it could mean that the protestors are starting to beat police officers, that's why police are forced to form an enclosure and make arrests - because any one of those protestors could start a fight.

i think we have at least three reporters out on the street that night. they were calling back things that they saw. it could be that a reporter saw police arresting a zealous protestor, fighting police, his friends fighting with him. it could be that there was just that one fight that caused police to form the enclosure and scaring other protestors.

i think that's the case because at another rally - i think just last year - police almost escorted anti-war demonstrators down state street to, if i remember it right, daley plaza. from a media video from the air, the demonstration looked like a walking rectangle down state street.

my friends and i left saturday's protest at 8:30 p.m. it was our first anti-war rally and march. protestors took the entire of michigan avenue southbound, three lanes of traffic.

a rally serves many purposes. this one helped me understand (war) issues more clearly. it was different than just telling a friend how demonstrations could be the fastest way to get information about issues.

at least four people asked what flag i was carrying. it was the only flag of its kind in the rally - earlier, i joked with friends that it was the only philippine flag in the entire city, and i might be right about that. i wonder if you could see blue over red from ten stories up. i wonder what the march looked like from the air.

more pix HERE
Things I Didn't Know I Loved
by Nazim Hikmet
Translated by Mutlu Konuk and Randy Blasing

it's 1962 March 28th

I'm sitting by the window on the Prague-Berlin train

night is falling

I never knew I liked

night descending like a tired bird on a smoky wet plain

I don't like

comparing nightfall to a tired bird

I didn't know I loved the earth

can someone who hasn't worked the earth love it

I've never worked the earth

it must be my only Platonic love

and here I've loved rivers all this time

whether motionless like this they curl skirting the hills

European hills crowned with chateaus

or whether stretched out flat as far as the eye can see

I know you can't wash in the same river even once

I know the river will bring new lights you'll never see

I know we live slightly longer than a horse but not nearly as long as a crow

I know this has troubled people before

and will trouble those after me

I know all this has been said a thousand times before

and will be said after me

I didn't know I loved the sky

cloudy or clear

the blue vault Andrei studied on his back at Borodino

in prison I translated both volumes of War and Peace into Turkish

I hear voices

not from the blue vault but from the yard

the guards are beating someone again

I didn't know I loved trees

bare beeches near Moscow in Peredelkino

they come upon me in winter noble and modest

beeches are Russian the way poplars are Turkish

"the poplars of Izmir

losing their leaves. . .

they call me The Knife. . .

lover like a young tree. . .

I blow stately mansions sky-high"

in the Ilgaz woods in 1920 I tied an embroidered linen handkerchief

to a pine bough for luck

I never knew I loved roads

even the asphalt kind

Vera's behind the wheel we're driving from Moscow to the Crimea


formerly "Goktepé ili" in Turkish

the two of us inside a closed box

the world flows past on both sides distant and mute

I was never so close to anyone in my life

bandits stopped me on the red road between Bolu and Geredé

when I was eighteen

apart from my life I didn't have anything in the wagon they could take

and at eighteen our lives are what we value least

I've written this somewhere before

wading through a dark muddy street I'm going to the shadow play

Ramazan night

a paper lantern leading the way

maybe nothing like this ever happened

maybe I read it somewhere an eight-year-old boy

going to the shadow play

Ramazan night in Istanbul holding his grandfather's hand

his grandfather has on a fez and is wearing the fur coat

with a sable collar over his robe

and there's a lantern in the servant's hand

and I can't contain myself for joy

flowers come to mind for some reason

poppies cactuses jonquils

in the jonquil garden in Kadikoy Istanbul I kissed Marika

fresh almonds on her breath

I was seventeen

my heart on a swing touched the sky

I didn't know I loved flowers

friends sent me three red carnations in prison

I just remembered the stars

I love them too

whether I'm floored watching them from below

or whether I'm flying at their side

I have some questions for the cosmonauts

were the stars much bigger

did they look like huge jewels on black velvet

or apricots on orange

did you feel proud to get closer to the stars

I saw color photos of the cosmos in Ogonek magazine now don't

be upset comrades but nonfigurative shall we say or abstract

well some of them looked just like such paintings which is to

say they were terribly figurative and concrete

my heart was in my mouth looking at them

they are our endless desire to grasp things

seeing them I could even think of death and not feel at all sad

I never knew I loved the cosmos

snow flashes in front of my eyes

both heavy wet steady snow and the dry whirling kind

I didn't know I liked snow

I never knew I loved the sun

even when setting cherry-red as now

in Istanbul too it sometimes sets in postcard colors

but you aren't about to paint it that way

I didn't know I loved the sea

except the Sea of Azov

or how much

I didn't know I loved clouds

whether I'm under or up above them

whether they look like giants or shaggy white beasts

moonlight the falsest the most languid the most petit-bourgeois

strikes me

I like it

I didn't know I liked rain

whether it falls like a fine net or splatters against the glass my

heart leaves me tangled up in a net or trapped inside a drop

and takes off for uncharted countries I didn't know I loved

rain but why did I suddenly discover all these passions sitting

by the window on the Prague-Berlin train

is it because I lit my sixth cigarette

one alone could kill me

is it because I'm half dead from thinking about someone back in Moscow

her hair straw-blond eyelashes blue

the train plunges on through the pitch-black night

I never knew I liked the night pitch-black

sparks fly from the engine

I didn't know I loved sparks

I didn't know I loved so many things and I had to wait until sixty

to find it out sitting by the window on the Prague-Berlin train

watching the world disappear as if on a journey of no return

19 April 1962


From Selected Poetry by Nazim Hikmet. Persea Books, Inc., 1986.

after reading these hopeful lines, i look up, and there's this clunky title. it doesn't suit the lovely elegance of this piece! it doesn't suit his theory to "depoetize" poetry. it doesn't make sense to me! hikmet should work on titling.

ok, nevermind.
  fourth letter from A

summer open mic
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

open mic in the summer

Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

ed, je, steve and d

beyond the barrelman - closing
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

getting ready to jam

Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

je. d. ciso.

Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

'one hundred years' at the final open mic, nobyembre, 2005.

Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

making an announcement

je and d
Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_deux.

walong mata... happy birthday, d! :-D


welcome, and thank you for boarding the ulanmaya transit express. tickets, please. mind the gap as you depart. have a pleasant experience.

05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 / 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 / 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 / 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 / 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 / 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 / 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 / 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 / 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 / 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 / 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 / 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 / 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 / 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 / 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 / 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 / 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 / 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 / 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 / 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 / 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 / 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 / 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 / 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 / 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 / 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 /

gromit is curious

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