houses home is like a pandora's box of emotions - all treasures, all beautiful, all expensive beyond my means right now. to have gone abroad in my case is a luxury i really can't afford right now. it is sophistication like a shimmering quartz cavern.

but what price can you lay on "home"? how much does it cost to buy a house these days? does it mean buying not just the equipment inside the structure, but also the tiny parcel of land around it, the gated safety for peace of mind, the location and address for the quality of neighbors? does it ring investment to you, that if you don't own one you lack ties to your adopted land?

right now we look to the heavens for fireworks and snow, sleet and rain to cool our air. but we're the only ones that do. the others duck and carry on with work they're assigned to. there's no time to peer west and dream, no time to plant and cultivate deep and discover, "i've yet to pass by us, too."

what i mean by home remains under lock and key, secret to everyone including me. maybe when i find the steady whirring of overhead fans and the ready clip and stop of air conditioners, when breaking the neighbor's glass case or the roar of jeepneys careening steadily becomes less piercing a memory than humid biking days and my name said differently... when brooklyn bridges and city halls cease to loom giantly above me, when elevated train tracks cease to dictate time and circumstance and schedule on me, that when sunrise and sunset mix and intertwine like lace or heavy rope fold around me so that i depend more on earth and pray for rain to nourish me... i suppose then, and only then, will i ever realize home.   ¶ 7/04/2004 10:07:00 AM