pretense this week feels like it's going to go downhill. another blah week after a good one last. i didn't capture it in joy like i used to, but i tried and withheld, for reasons i choose to keep secret. i haven't told anyone of how great last week was - everything that i asked for was granted to me. that NEVER happens, that's why i never reveled in it, thinking it won't ever last, so what's the use of cherishing it? too late i learn that when things like that you never let go of memories, you wear them like proud ornaments and let them dazzle in the sunlight, let them capture starlight and moonshine to trap everyone's eyes and plant in them envy and illicit from them, "oh, magnificent. as soon as you turn your head, i'm taking your joy from you and run furthest until i hear no more of you."  
  ¶ 7/19/2004 12:51:00 PM