20040910
welcome to humanity
i'm back now from the east coast. i am so tired! i went to work after a short rest at my house. my plane was delayed one hour - just as well, because if i had an hour to spare at my house, i might end up missing work.
which was just as well, that i missed work i mean, coz at exactly 9 p.m. thursday night i got violently sick. everything that you can imagine happening to a body rebelling to sour starburst chewy candy and bibingka and lack of water happened to me at exactly 9 p.m. central standard time. i walked as calmly as i can from my desk, unnoticed thank god, and puked at the breakroom's sink.
one hour earlier in the same breakroom, i rested my head on my arm on the table and took a powernap. i think my body wanted more, and when i didn't give it one hour later, she chose to show just how irritated she was at my disregard. i couldn't anyhow - the window of 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. usually's one of my busiest times at work.
my body hacked and twisted like soft, salty taffy. i had no choice but to follow her every command. i wondered if this was normal and if someone was, indeed, as my mother two hours later would wonder, if someone were hurtling curses at me. i couldn't stop for two hours. i learned she, my body i mean, would calm down if i sat still for a moment, or if i lowered my head on my arm on the table and closed my eyes. i learned she liked lying on the bathroom floor quietly for a while. i learned balance fled her when she stood up and staggered to the sink for one more hurl of nothing but sticky saliva, dissolved starburst and pieces of bibingka. later, the matter turned green, and i was told that stomach acids were green by nature.
i finally had enough and called my mother, who was supposed to pick me up in half an hour. i needed to know if she can pick me up, and right now, because if not, i'll take a cab back to the house. my sweat and my shaking astonished me. i was freezing! but lucid. i wondered about the work i left unfished and the phone calls i've yet to return, but i won't go back inside the office looking - and probably smelling - like my green stomach acids.
i descended my building and took a nap at the furthest and darkest couch in my office's lobby. my body curled while my mind mulled over my fatigue. there were three more trips i needed to take before the end of the year, and right now i think i'm bumping one to next year so i can make space for a fourth.
and i wonder why i prioritize my travels often above my own health and my own pocketbook. somehow, even with meager incomes, i've managed to stay liquid and mobile as i acquire most of the things i want. i'm reminded of the short time i have to travel, to see places and experience new things. i'm not sure why i think i only have right now for that. i've witnessed suddenness and been imparted the worth of seizing moments. somehow i reason, "while i still can," and i know that i mean it.
yet perhaps there are moments to usurp and then there are moments to let by. i'm still glad, body may protest, that for this moment i've chances given me. i just learned my physical limits and for right now, am given a whole midnight to replenish. good night. :-)
¶ 9/10/2004 01:16:00 AM
which was just as well, that i missed work i mean, coz at exactly 9 p.m. thursday night i got violently sick. everything that you can imagine happening to a body rebelling to sour starburst chewy candy and bibingka and lack of water happened to me at exactly 9 p.m. central standard time. i walked as calmly as i can from my desk, unnoticed thank god, and puked at the breakroom's sink.
one hour earlier in the same breakroom, i rested my head on my arm on the table and took a powernap. i think my body wanted more, and when i didn't give it one hour later, she chose to show just how irritated she was at my disregard. i couldn't anyhow - the window of 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. usually's one of my busiest times at work.
my body hacked and twisted like soft, salty taffy. i had no choice but to follow her every command. i wondered if this was normal and if someone was, indeed, as my mother two hours later would wonder, if someone were hurtling curses at me. i couldn't stop for two hours. i learned she, my body i mean, would calm down if i sat still for a moment, or if i lowered my head on my arm on the table and closed my eyes. i learned she liked lying on the bathroom floor quietly for a while. i learned balance fled her when she stood up and staggered to the sink for one more hurl of nothing but sticky saliva, dissolved starburst and pieces of bibingka. later, the matter turned green, and i was told that stomach acids were green by nature.
i finally had enough and called my mother, who was supposed to pick me up in half an hour. i needed to know if she can pick me up, and right now, because if not, i'll take a cab back to the house. my sweat and my shaking astonished me. i was freezing! but lucid. i wondered about the work i left unfished and the phone calls i've yet to return, but i won't go back inside the office looking - and probably smelling - like my green stomach acids.
i descended my building and took a nap at the furthest and darkest couch in my office's lobby. my body curled while my mind mulled over my fatigue. there were three more trips i needed to take before the end of the year, and right now i think i'm bumping one to next year so i can make space for a fourth.
and i wonder why i prioritize my travels often above my own health and my own pocketbook. somehow, even with meager incomes, i've managed to stay liquid and mobile as i acquire most of the things i want. i'm reminded of the short time i have to travel, to see places and experience new things. i'm not sure why i think i only have right now for that. i've witnessed suddenness and been imparted the worth of seizing moments. somehow i reason, "while i still can," and i know that i mean it.
yet perhaps there are moments to usurp and then there are moments to let by. i'm still glad, body may protest, that for this moment i've chances given me. i just learned my physical limits and for right now, am given a whole midnight to replenish. good night. :-)
¶ 9/10/2004 01:16:00 AM
