20051001
the first
hay, so we start another month: october.
can't say the past nine months were wasted. i know i tried to have a blast each chance i got. i went CRAZY when i was reigned in. (i.e., my trip to southern california with my mother and my uncle. there were no kids around. it was stupid. don't do that.) but at the same time i learned you can't be all talkative and happy all the time. hehe.
i'm going to try to write something everyday this month. hehe.
i can't believe that it was just last month that i went to florida. i'm glad to say that somehow the "drug" they fed me during the sfc conf is still around. ahahaha. even though friends who used to be part of the group totally refuse to go back. i think that's funny. i'm assured like that because they found other ways to stay true to themselves without needing the support that sfc provides. isn't that how ideologies are supposed to be, anyways?
as for me, it's irritating that somehow nothing seems to faze me. at least, lately. it's irritating, because, if paranoia were a person, he'd someday walk toward me again and go, "hi! remember me?" it might be in winter when ice coats the sidewalks and icicles plunge from skyscrapers, sharp like weapons and gravity-laden and ready to kill.
but my "eh" mode is highly important because autumn is coming, the weather hasn't yet cooperated (the temperatures tomorrow are scheduled to be 80s when it should be 60s), but the days have. i get to appreciate the earth's turning several degrees to the left this time of year.
except for several months here and there, i've used the same exact desk at work for five years now. every late summer or early fall, the sun would blind me because my right side faces the windows. you can't ignore it when the sun says hi. well, i noticed he's been sinking and sinking faster and further the left of the windowsill, which is aligned with the side of the presidential towers west of the building, across the chicago river. in the late spring and early summer, the sun set somewhere else, never bothering me.
the sunsets have turned spectacular - gold on stone buildings and glass and steel. sunset, the busiest, most stressful time of my workday, so it is inspiring to glimpse perfect beauty every time you look up from your work. like the season of fall, the beautiful sunsets don't linger. i thought, how precious. ¶ 10/01/2005 03:37:00 AM
can't say the past nine months were wasted. i know i tried to have a blast each chance i got. i went CRAZY when i was reigned in. (i.e., my trip to southern california with my mother and my uncle. there were no kids around. it was stupid. don't do that.) but at the same time i learned you can't be all talkative and happy all the time. hehe.
i'm going to try to write something everyday this month. hehe.
i can't believe that it was just last month that i went to florida. i'm glad to say that somehow the "drug" they fed me during the sfc conf is still around. ahahaha. even though friends who used to be part of the group totally refuse to go back. i think that's funny. i'm assured like that because they found other ways to stay true to themselves without needing the support that sfc provides. isn't that how ideologies are supposed to be, anyways?
as for me, it's irritating that somehow nothing seems to faze me. at least, lately. it's irritating, because, if paranoia were a person, he'd someday walk toward me again and go, "hi! remember me?" it might be in winter when ice coats the sidewalks and icicles plunge from skyscrapers, sharp like weapons and gravity-laden and ready to kill.
but my "eh" mode is highly important because autumn is coming, the weather hasn't yet cooperated (the temperatures tomorrow are scheduled to be 80s when it should be 60s), but the days have. i get to appreciate the earth's turning several degrees to the left this time of year.
except for several months here and there, i've used the same exact desk at work for five years now. every late summer or early fall, the sun would blind me because my right side faces the windows. you can't ignore it when the sun says hi. well, i noticed he's been sinking and sinking faster and further the left of the windowsill, which is aligned with the side of the presidential towers west of the building, across the chicago river. in the late spring and early summer, the sun set somewhere else, never bothering me.
the sunsets have turned spectacular - gold on stone buildings and glass and steel. sunset, the busiest, most stressful time of my workday, so it is inspiring to glimpse perfect beauty every time you look up from your work. like the season of fall, the beautiful sunsets don't linger. i thought, how precious. ¶ 10/01/2005 03:37:00 AM
