Originally uploaded by ulanmaya_trois.


it turned absurd after a while. she didn't say it, but i knew my sister wanted to take him back to the house. and she knew it was absurd, but she couldn't say it. a few more seconds and i couldn't help but start giggling. it made her cry more.

"say bye bye now," said my other sister, and i stopped her. she was holding the tissue box and had cried herself. we stood there waiting for something. he's not going to move.

after a while that prolly took all of four seconds, our mother working out paperwork and payment to have him cremated, we stroked his black and white spots and his meatless fur. i liked him because he makes polka dots fashionable. he had lost a lot of weight in the weeks before today. he was turning cold quickly in the vet hospital gurnee.

my sister just continued to sob. well, she was going to loose her glasses if someone didn't hold on to them, and i wondered why hadn't i started sneezing yet. i was allergic to many things, including smart dalmatians who knew the hands that fed them - and mine weren't those special two.

the other sister tried to make it better. "he'll now keep dad company," she said.

"dad doesn't like dogs."

"well, he'll be with kuchi and pucci," i said, remembering our kittens in our house in quezon city.

"snoopy doesn't like cats."

she started sobbing again. it was then i had to tell them both that there was no way we're taking him back with us. some people stuff their pets. we won't be the first ones to do that in our neighborhood. i felt for that fatty ball they said he had in his stomach - and sure enough, there it was, the size of a large marble, rolling easily between fur and skin. my sister said the vet said it was just a lumpy piece of fat, like how unsightly calluses grow on heels.

i knew he was gone when we laid him inside the back of the car - snoopy loved car rides. he lives for them. he would stick his head out the window to feel the wind with abandon. i knew he was gone when he didn't even sigh for happiness.

i wanted to find out just exactly what did our pet in at only nine years old, but none of my family wanted to know. i would pay for it myself, but no. snoopy ate everything - his toys, his pillows, his blankets, grass, orange peels, spilled juice, candy, turkey bones, chicken bones, cloth, paper, plastic, charcoal. he thinks it's a game: what's that? let's find out. let's eat it. our mom said it might have been an old blanket we gave them that didn't last three months with him. i didn't want to think if our hostile neighbor had anything to do with this. i didn't want to add to any more sobbing in the hospital. it's frustrating.

my little sister didn't want to look at his face. she started arguing with the other who wanted to cover his body. she didn't want his face covered. she liked his eyes because one was brown, the other blue. they were really strange. and they stayed open, but unmoving and cloudy. she stroked his cheek.

"ang lamig niya," she exclaimed.

she noticed liquid fall from his eyes, the way air's exited the rest of his body earlier, giving space for bodily fluids to follow, and found his eyelids still pliable. "oh, i can close this," she said.

our mother held out snoopy's tattered, old records and my sister grabbed them to keep. mom had paid for cremation and delivery to our house in about two weeks. about ten minutes later i needed to go back into the hospital to ask whose car was blocking ours, and if they could move it, and wondered what it would be like to open his room and see snoopy again.

but i stumbled on a weighing scale - snoopy could never keep still while he was being weighed - and decided that enough was enough. he would always rise because he liked his neck and jaw stroked. when i took away his red collar, i thought i wouldn't be able to pinch his fur anymore, at all. we left him on his side, as always, as if sleeping.
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