the roadtrip to nyc went exceedingly well - we left early morning on friday, arrived a shade shy before that day ended, a few minutes, in fact.

but the drive back was bad. i wanted to jump out of the car so many times, and i wondered how to ask to be dropped off a train station without starting a war, but instead i buckled my seat and looked outside into the dark. pennsylvania. i can't stand pennsylvania, even if the big cities are cool. but it was early evening, and i'm most awake during those hours, and i can't sleep.

i listened to guy concerns because i thought i could contribute. how naive. but i told them that guy feelings are just as complex as girl feelings, and they said, "awww." i got annoyed because i thought this was also something they knew.

one of our party shared with us an epiphany of his: he wanted to become a photojournalist. i shared with him everything i could come up with. i have to email him about the hawaii conference later this year.

a couple hours ago, i finished talking to a friend who gave me some information that made me, finally, see the light. this is why i had been feeling uncomfortable all weekend. i just ignored it, because i didn't think it was a big deal - but it is a big deal, and now i know why. quizzically, there's no need for apologies anywhere to anyone.

but i wanted, i so wanted to get out of the car. i can't deal with issues right now. i'm only barely able to contain mine. granted, my issues are shallow compared to theirs, but they're still issues.

with all this luggage, should i still have gone to new york city? definitely. i brought my issues with me, but the best part, the best part, was making them meet the metropolitan museum of art. ahahahaha. my issues seemed to dissolve once i got there. it was very different from brooklyn, and they said healing comes when you're forced to meet something totally removed from that old situation.

i guess that contributed to my feeling sad on the trip back: i met the solution to my concerns only on the last day, and i wasn't given much of a chance to flush them all out. i hoped, next time. unfinished business, always, when it came to the Village.
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