sexual violence town hall meeting
there was a town hall meeting saturday about an incident that three women can't talk about without crying. i can't talk about it because i'm still too shocked.

i've heard about this issue a couple months ago, but my magnificent magic memory for missing refused to work this time. it stuck in my head and i totally didn't know how to respond to what i've just heard. i wanted to ask people, but i've been taught not to ever rock the boat with unnecessary issues.

but this isn't an unnecessary issue.

i went to the meeting late because my wonderful body loves to tell me to wait, i can't move as fast as you yet. i should have asked for a ride.

the room was split in two big groups and everyone was allowed to speak freely. i was told to join the smaller, quieter group. one counselor said that people who choose to do that have already lost any sense of morality for the moment and they become offenders. that the act cannot be called otherwise but a crime. the circle seemed to be wholly in support of the survivor.

i was confused because i knew the so-called offender, not closely, but near enough to notice he's changed a bit last december, and near enough to notice that he had been struggling with some issues. another close friend of his that i knew wasn't at the meeting.

i hope neither of them will think the organizers are being optimistic. i think everyone's already heard some form of gossip regarding this issue, and the leaders want to admit their ignorance as well, so they sought counselors and a time to meet to understand an issue that's unfortunately runawayly common among asians in the u.s. or elsewhere.

there are some suggestions that filipinos should have their own forum because we supposedly have a totally different history from the rest of asia. (i think they forgot about indonesia, china, korea, vietnam, laos, cambodia and india, some countries also invaded and taken for the west.)

later, the groups broke into a big circle with some young girls totally for the survivors and almost neglecting the offender, as if he's worthy of being beaten to a pulp and left for dead on kimball avenue. we're meeting again sometime in july to think again.

what i liked best about the ideas mentioned was that asia, particularly the philippines, have a colonial past. this might contribute to the taking power and hurting and silence among filipinos.

the issue has evolved to why did the man do this, to what are we going to do about it. the subjects have seemed to vanish into the thin ozone summer chicago air. i'm just glad there's this forum to address concerns.

a couple of months ago the man blast texted a gig he was having at a wine bar that saturday. i always love getting texts from people about anything, options for the weekend included (i try to go to all of them, and woohoo, i wonder why my body gave up on me).

i had changed phones and lost everyone's number except for a few, and i'm assuming that number was his. i've already forgotten what i said to him in reply. but i remember him not ever texting me back.

i've been taught to stay out of things, but the community is doing something different now. they wouldn't have the open town hall meeting if people wanted things to stay the same. back home, i remember silence would be the rule, that the issue would be relegated to the few concerned, to keep it clean and focused. but perhaps this is why evil deeds, actions and issues perpetuate. prize gossip morphs into incredible, unmanageable monsters. but in this case, ideally, with an open invite for everyone for everyone to learn, things will be different.

so, bergamot wine bar, i hope you had chanced to read us online. i hope you are doing well. if you really did it, you had escaped the justice you had to pay. we are thinking and praying for you. ingat.


i've been asked to look if there were places and sites that help out offenders in case they actually realized what they've done. i hadn't had a chance to copy these, so here they are, i'll also email these out.


Adler school of professional psychology
has offender counseling
65 e. wcker place on 22th floor

human effective living program
ste 1100

midwest family resources
217 n. jefferson
second floor
after hours: 773-353-1369

web sites:

VAWA 2005 (Public Law No: 109-162), the Sexual Assault Services Program (SASP)
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